I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
