I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
