I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
