Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
from now on my penis is your penis
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
