And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got inside last night via doggy door
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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