just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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