so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
