I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
