You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
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