i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
