I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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