dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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