Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
