SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
