The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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