somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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