seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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