worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
