ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
