Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
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She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
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I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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