You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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