Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
