I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Randomize
