I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
