just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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