James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
