bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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