I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
