Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
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Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
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All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
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