I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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