We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
