You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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