Sponge bath it is.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize