if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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