White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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