Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Brb crying the tears of my youth
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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