Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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