I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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