There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
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He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
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he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
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