Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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