Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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