I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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