Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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