chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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