Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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