what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Randomize
