I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize