I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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