Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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