the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
