I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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