He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
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I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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