Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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