I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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