Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
